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| Homeless Need Help! |
"Homeless Need Help!"This was what was written on the front of the flimsy cardboard sign the man was holding as he walked by my car on a recent morning as I was on my way to work. He appeared to be young, perhaps in his mid to late 20s. It was a very cold morning. In fact, it was in the low to mid 30s, with a brisk north wind blowing. It was about 6:10 AM. He was walking up and down the side of the offramp from I-110 where it connects to Cervantes Street--and as the traffic would back up (no right turn permitted on a red light) he would walk up and back, hoping someone would roll down the window and give him something.
I was on my second cycle of green light, and I was moving close to the light as it turned yellow, then red.
Knowing I'd be stopped right by where this individual was standing--a couple of different thoughts went through my head simultaneously.
I looked in my passenger seat--there was my laptop bag and my sack lunch. Actually, it was a sack breakfast and lunch--consisting of a 7.5 Ounce can of Diet Coke, 2 hard boiled eggs, a banana, a bottled water, a microwaveable bag of rice, a tangerine, and apple, and some breaded chicken in a plastic Tupperware. For a moment, I thought about giving him the whole bag. I've given food before. But then I'd be stuck at my desk with no lunch or breakfast, and about 12 hours before I'd be back home. At about the same time, I thought about giving him a five-spot. After all, I had about $86 bucks in my wallet-I've given money before. Then I thought about stopping and just speaking with him, I've done that before.
I remembered the time in Cardiff by the Sea and I was on the way to the beach and I saw a guy with a similar sign. So I reached into my cooler, grabbed an Ice cold beer and as I drove by I tossed it to him. He smiled, did not break eye contact, and caught the beer with one hand while keeping the other hand on his sign which did not move--didn't flinch. It was like a frog catching a fly with his distended tongue. It was impressive.
I remembered the other time I saw a guy holding a sign like this on 9-Mile road. This guy had no legs, he
was in a wheelchair. I was coming back from Wal-Mart so I pulled over and gave him food, hot dogs and bread. He was thankful and appreciative.
Then I remembered the time about 10 years ago when I was driving back from the shell station at exit 5 in Beulah and I saw what I thought was a body in a large grassy area of the highway's ROW. I pulled over to investigate and it was a woman sleeping. I went back to the store, bought a cinnamon roll and an OJ and brought it back to her. I told her it wasn't safe to be there, that was my opinion. She said she was walking somewhere, just taking a rest break.
I was thinking about these previous encounters and all these options I might have to help this guy and, I realized all of the sudden he was now looking right at me. I smiled uncomfortably and nodded my head ever so slightly. "I see you" was what I was trying to convey. "Are my doors locked?" I thought as I saw that they were--thankfully.
A quick look up--and the light's still red.
I look back at the young man and he is now looking me in the eye and nodding up and down. It looks like he is just copying my gesture to him, mirroring. Then he starts to say something but I can't make it out--I can't hear it because my window is up. It's cold.
So I smile nervously and look ahead, I glance back and the guy is screaming. This time I can read his lips. No doubt about it. He validates what I thought he was saying when he flips me the bird in a very aggressive manner, his hands are shaking; his finger is shaking. Is it anger or the cold? Both? Jealousy? Who knows?
What if I would have just smiled and waved? What if I wouldn't have made eye contact?
I look up to see the light has changed ---- so I quicky drive past this guy who is staring me down and cursing at me.
If only he knew I would have helped -- I might have! Or maybe I would have ignored him? I do that a lot too----especially if it is someone that looks able-bodied and young. Cynically--I've thought to myself "Why is this guy not working? He'll probably just throw any food away I give him, and if I give him money--he'll just buy booze or drugs with it!"
Damn--is this guy even homeless?--is he an addict?--why get so agro so fast! Why flip me the bird. Look, I'm not a counselor, I'm just an average guy on a road in Pensacola--What's up with this crap??
Didn't even get that far down the line though--when I get a finger within 30 seconds of eye contact.
Now I'm pissed and my blood is boiling.
I roll down the window and yell "Get a job-damnit!!"
Yeah, I guess there's a problem here with this.........................Is it homelessness though--or something else? Is there even a solution?
Am I the problem? Part of the problem? Should I have handled this better? what could I have done differently with this entire 90 second encounter? I could have handled this better.
But then I rationalize it. That's easy to do. After all--what do you say to an aggressive stranger who is yelling at you, for no good reason, saying "F&%K YOU!!??!!
Really--how do you respond to that? Then I think about how good my life is, how lucky I am, and how thankful I am. God is good to me, better than I deserve.
So I'm packing a "second lunch" tomorrow--a non-perishable meal that I can give this guy if he is there on the bridge when I ride by Tuesday, or Wednesday.--that's what I am going to do. 😊
Maybe I'll pack a couple.
I will pack a couple.
2 comments:
Commissioner Bergosh, while there is a certain small percentage of panhandlers who work the handout when they are capable of working a job--you'll never hear me argue otherwise, particularly when it comes to large urban areas where I've lived--for the most part, when you see a homeless person, chances are what you are witnessing is the crushing failure of our mental health and addiction treatment and services in this country. A lot of homeless people try very hard to make sure you never see them at all.
Sometimes when I think back to my college days, it scares the crap out of me how easily I could have become homeless. As it was, I was always working shift to shift at a restaurant; there were many times I was a couple of days away from cut-off on power service. Thank God rent was pretty cheap in Iowa City back then, but I knew a *lot* of people who gave plasma to make ends meet (and yes, that was while they were working).
One decision a bit more stupid than some of the stupid decisions a person makes at that age, one landlord who got sick of me begging for an extension every three or four months (I submitted my grades to most of my landlords to demonstrate I wasn't a loser at life), if I hadn't had friends who helped me deal with some pretty turbulent periods in working out issues from my childhood, I could have easily ended up kicked to the curb in the middle of winter. If I had been in an urban area instead of Iowa, I have no doubt I would have had a utility turned off or even gotten evicted at one point or another while I was putting myself through school.
Something Michael Kimberl said at a City Council meeting shot through me in the moment I was present for it, and will always stick with me:
Nobody graduates high school wanting to be a drunk bum.
The huge majority of people who are homeless had some turn at Albuquerque that went really, really wrong. I know from personal experience that sometimes families simply aren't there the way a lot of people assume is a given. With the economy we're facing, I think about it all the time--what if, God forbid, my husband got sick? I really wish every single person who scoffs at the homeless situation--including our Mayor and our County Administrator, who seem to think busting up homeless camps and trespassing people off public property solves the problem--would do an honest assessment of the following:
**If your household lost whatever income or assistance that keeps it going tomorrow, with no notice, and your family and friends were either unable or unwilling to help, and you could not find a job or were incapacitated from being able to work...
What is your own countdown to being homeless?
Any person who has so many assets there's just no possibility of that ever happening, well, bully for them. It's not a very large percentage of the population. Right now, the bigger percentage of our population could experience calamities that would in short order land them under a bridge trying to stay warm in a box. And maybe if more people actually understood this, our solutions for homelessness and mental health and addiction problems wouldn't be so long overdue.
I'm glad you posted this blog, because I have been frustrated and angered to the point it has made me sick to my stomach with the situation under the overpass. Thanks for leaving the room for people to speak their peace.
--Melissa Pino
Isn't the BOCC going to rezone Navy Point park for the Escambia unhoused population? That would be a step in the right direction and to allow the development of the skate park.
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