The Setup:
A long time ago, in the sleepy, swampy southern Florida town of Patronville, our protagonist, Croc (also frequently and affectionately known as "Pimp" for the special way he treats his acquaintences, business partners and friends) sits alone in his darkened office overlooking the bay. He recently returned from a disastrous trip to Belize where an experimental anti-aging and cosmetic procedure that was supposed to cut 30 years off of his appearance and add 50 years of longevity to his lifespan went horribly, badly wrong. Instead of the machine utilizing the DNA of the crocodile to accomplish this miracle feat--the scientist at the controls made an error which left our character disfigured; he came out of the chamber a crocadile/human hybrid (not unlike Jeff Goldblum in "The Fly"--except worse... ) Upon returning to Patronville--he was assured by his loyal, obsequious assistants Maya and Phaedra, that he didn't "look that bad....." So being in a sullen, saddend state due to his reptillian appearance, his anger suddenly intensifies......As he reads an article on an unrelated topic in the Patronville Observer Sentinal ("POS", for short) , he realizes that yes-- to his utter anger and dismay--- that he, himself, personally, has been mentioned in an unflattering light in an unrelated article written by Andy, a dimwitted, untalented writer on the "POS" staff.
PIMP: (Yelling) Phaedra!!! Maya!!!
PHAEDRA AND MAYA IN UNISON: "Yes sir, how can we serve you, how can we make your day outstanding, meaningful, and fantastic sir!"
PIMP: "Get me the POS's Lisa on the @#$$%%& phone right now!!!"
PHAEDRA AND MAYA IN UNISON: "Yes sir!!"
PIMP: "Do it now @##$$%%% why are you standing there looking dumb!!!"
(---speakerphone on the desk rings......ring, ring, ring,)
LISA--(through the speakerphone:) "It's a great day at the P-O-S--how can I help......"
PIMP: --cutting her off "It's me, Croc--cut the #$%&. Why the #$%&* F*&% is my name in your POS paper today?!?!? What is that #$%%&* Andy thinking?? We know he's a dimwitted idot--but what is this?? And why the #$%& would you allow that??!!
LISA: "Sorry sir, we're just trying to..."
PIMP: --cutting her off "I don't give a #$%& what your're trying to do, I don't care what you think, and I don't want to EVER see my name in any unflattering negative light ever--in your POS paper. Do you understand me? NEVER!! You know that, we have discussed this many times. Never me, never negative, only positive!! What the #$%& Lisa??
LISA: "Sorry sir, but..."
PIMP: --cutting her off "Just shut up. Nothing you say means anything, I've told you that. Don't you #$$%&* make me come down there, don't make me do it!! It is almost 3:00--you know what happens at 3:00--- and I will be down there and you don't want that, understand me??"
LISA: "Sorry sir, terribly sorry....no, don't come down, please, let me manage this sir. I am a POSemployee, and Andy is a POS employee, so technically...."
PIMP: --cutting her off " You are both POS employeess, but don't forget the money I spend with your POS paper, $$%%^&!!!! I am your boss, got it!! I want a ##$%& retraction in your paper, take my name out of that piece, got it! Do it!! And it better be done by tomorrow. Meanwhile, tell the POS caroonist ANDY to do another cartoon on the Patronville's Board of Supervisors, do something really mean and nasty on them--make some #$%& up if you have to like before--just get the attention off of me, and on them---you got it LISA!!??!!"
LISA: "Yes Sir, Sorry Sir..."
PIMP: --cutting her off "Just shut up and get your $#%&*## @#$% together, okay?? If I ever see my name this way in your paper again, I'll call rooms to go and get your ad cancelled with them, understood? I'll stop buying ads too, and then what happens to your POS paper Lisa?? Yeah, you know what happens so get it fixed!!"
LISA: "Yes Sir, Sorry Sir, it will never happen again......please, please let me fix it, please don't call rooms to go, please, please.....pleases (sobbing) please...."
PIMP: --cutting her off "Stop it! you're pathetic! just do what I said, and stop your crying. But NEVER let this happen again. Do you understand?"
LISA: "Yes Sir, Sorry Sir-we will do better and it will never happen again, ever--I prom....!!"
PIMP: --cutting her off "You're pathetic--you, Andy, and your POS Paper..pathetic!!! Hangs up phonecall loudly.
*This cartoon and this story is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental
4 comments:
As funny as this is the reality is frightening. Printed media and social media has too much control of reader’s minds and grossly biased information is steadily fed to us to brainwash the more gullible population.
Yesterday I overheard a woman tell a friend that she read on Facebook “the govt is going to force all kids to get vaccinated before school and they are going to go door to door and if there is an elderly person or child in your home, they will make you get the vaccine or be removed from the house”….
This is how scary disinformation campaigns have become. The mother of a 10 year old Covid patient that passed away last week said “we thought it was a hoax”…This is the world we’re living in now. Normally I’d say let it be because it’s natural selection, but the stupidity is harming the more vulnerable population.
Same situation is occurring here with politics. We’re being influenced, brainwashed into deciding what politician we should like and what politician is the corrupt one.it’s out of control.
This link should be posted here too. The comments are more interesting than the article.
https://thepulsepensacola.com/2016/01/studer-reaffirms-interest-in-politics-as-records-reveal-past-contributions/
Anonymous-yes, the disinformation and the spin. But an equally destructive, insidious method employed by the media (particularly the left-leaning local paper) is the art of omission. They don't like a story, or someone they like or support stumbles--you won't read one iota about it. But someone they dislike--they'll make stuff up and purposely attempt to frame them in a false light with actual malice. It is disgustingly unseemly and completely unethical. Same thing with op-eds with slants that do not align locally and nationally. A member of the US Senate requested an OP-ed in the New York Times, and it was rightly published yet several staff members were disciplined and at least one "resigned" for having had the temerity to actually publish it. Yes, he (wink, wink) "resigned"--saying --get this---he had not read it before it was published....A U.S. Senator sends something in and he published it without reading it?
B.S....https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/media/new-york-times-editorial-page-editor-resigns-after-uproar-over-cotton-op-ed/2020/06/07/bca09606-a8fd-11ea-9063-e69bd6520940_story.html We've got that same dynamic here locally where stuff that doesn't align with liberal talking points and what the local liberal editors "believe" simply gets pocket vetoed after submission by the author. Great case in point is a local Judge's GREAT piece about how the fatherless households locally directly correlate with the youth that get tangled with the justice system and eventually become incarcerated. He nailed it with this piece yet our wonderful paper locally would not print it. Sounds a lot like the fictitious Patronville Observer Sentinel (POS) paper in "Pimp & Twits" Interesting the similarities.......................
Here's what the PNJ should have published, perhaps it was simply too much truth for them to handle. Rick Outzen's Blog published it though, to his credit.
https://ricksblog.biz/viewpoint-more-fathers-equal-less-prisons/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=viewpoint-more-fathers-equal-less-prisons
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