The Setup:
A long time ago, in the sleepy, swampy southern Florida town of Patronville, our protagonist, Croc (also frequently and affectionately known as "Pimp" for the special way he treats his acquaintences, business partners and friends) sits alone in his darkened office overlooking the bay. He recently returned from a disastrous trip to Belize where an experimental anti-aging and cosmetic procedure that was supposed to cut 30 years off of his appearance and add 50 years of longevity to his lifespan went horribly, badly wrong. Instead of the machine utilizing the DNA of the crocodile to accomplish this miracle feat--the scientist at the controls made an error which left our character disfigured; he came out of the chamber a crocadile/human hybrid (not unlike Jeff Goldblum in "The Fly"--except worse... ) Upon returning to Patronville--he was assured by his loyal, obsequious assistants Maya and Phaedra, that he didn't "look that bad....." So being in a sullen, saddend state due to his reptillian appearance, his anger suddenly intensifies......As he reads an article on an unrelated topic in the Patronville Observer Sentinal ("POS", for short) , he realizes that yes-- to his utter anger and dismay--- that he, himself, personally, has been mentioned in an unflattering light in an unrelated article written by Andy, a dimwitted, untalented writer on the "POS" staff.
PIMP: (Yelling) Phaedra!!! Maya!!!
PHAEDRA AND MAYA IN UNISON: "Yes sir, how can we serve you, how can we make your day outstanding, meaningful, and fantastic sir!"
PIMP: "Get me the POS's Lisa on the @#$$%%& phone right now!!!"
PHAEDRA AND MAYA IN UNISON: "Yes sir!!"
PIMP: "Do it now @##$$%%% why are you standing there looking dumb!!!"
(---speakerphone on the desk rings......ring, ring, ring,)
LISA--(through the speakerphone:) "It's a great day at the P-O-S--how can I help......"
PIMP: --cutting her off "It's me, Croc--cut the #$%&. Why the #$%&* F*&% is my name in your POS paper today?!?!? What is that #$%%&* Andy thinking?? We know he's a dimwitted idot--but what is this?? And why the #$%& would you allow that??!!
LISA: "Sorry sir, we're just trying to..."
PIMP: --cutting her off "I don't give a #$%& what your're trying to do, I don't care what you think, and I don't want to EVER see my name in any unflattering negative light ever--in your POS paper. Do you understand me? NEVER!! You know that, we have discussed this many times. Never me, never negative, only positive!! What the #$%& Lisa??
LISA: "Sorry sir, but..."
PIMP: --cutting her off "Just shut up. Nothing you say means anything, I've told you that. Don't you #$$%&* make me come down there, don't make me do it!! It is almost 3:00--you know what happens at 3:00--- and I will be down there and you don't want that, understand me??"
LISA: "Sorry sir, terribly sorry....no, don't come down, please, let me manage this sir. I am a POSemployee, and Andy is a POS employee, so technically...."
PIMP: --cutting her off " You are both POS employeess, but don't forget the money I spend with your
