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| Look a here, boy, I'll give you 5 good reasons why you'all need an elected leader like me for your schools! |
Retired Hazzard County “Sole Commissioner” Boss Hogg liked
being in charge. He liked having a hand
in everything that happened. He also was
known to “look the other way” when necessary to protect his interests
(financial, image, power, and otherwise).
Most of all, he loved the fact that he only had to win an election every
four years to maintain his power. And despite the ups and downs of the quality
of life in Hazzard County—which could be downright third-worldish--people still liked Boss anyway because he could use his “bully-pulpit”
and his “power” to always find someone else to blame the county’s problems on—while
simultaneously absolving himself of ANY responsibility. He could and DID direct lucrative county contracts
to wealthy Hazard business owners and elites and his buddies to curry favor
with them. And it worked. Hazzard county
remained hopelessly mediocre. But Boss Hogg did just fine and got rich anyway—and re-elected 14 times!
Problems, crime, corruption, lingering poverty, moonshiners,
drag racing, drug running-- Boss Hogg didn’t care as long as he was in on the
cut of the action and could never be “implicated”. He would not share his power, either---no, no,
no sir--and he never did like the pesky interference of those Duke boys, Bo and
Luke, who may not have been perfect angels, but loved Hazard County and
wanted it to be the best it could be for the citizens.
So, I recently had the opportunity to speak with the retired
Hazzard County Commissioner, Boss Hogg, about the goings-on at the Escambia
County School District down here in Florida---and I wondered what Boss Hogg
would think of the brew ha ha festering over the appointed versus elected
superintendent issue here—along with the calls for the current superintendent, Dr. Tim Smith, to
resign. (Hogg only retired upon suffering a massive stroke and heart attack
simultaneously which prevented him from running for his 15th term in
office….)
“Well let me tell
you right now, boy, you’all made a HUGE mistake down there going from elected
to appointed—that was your first problem!”
He continued, between puffs of his cigar. “I mean, no wonder everyone wants this guy
Tim Smith to quit. He wasn’t elected by
the people, boy, and even though he is professional, has experience in this school
business stuff, looks the part, loves kids and teachers, and has fancy-schmancy
education credentials—I think it’s better to elect the superintendent
locally—because knowing the area and who the players are in the local business
community is more important than any stinkin’ credentials, experience, or college degree, boy!”
When asked to list the reasons why the elected
superintendent is the way to go for Escambia County, Hogg opened up like a North
Georgia Frog-strangler downpour. He took
a long draw from his fat cigar, inhaled two donuts simultaneously, gulped a big sip of sweet tea from his tumbler, leaned
forward, and let loose.
1.
“NUMBER 1---Listen
here—when you elect someone local-like—you get someone you know, someone who
will make sure other local people he likes gets all the good jobs and contracts—it don’t have
to be all about fancy-schmancy diplomas and degrees, boy.” And, once someone like me gets the “right” people
into the good jobs and big contracts—they can be controlled by me because they “owe me” boy! You see what I’m saying? “You can put them employees on one year contracts, make
them ask permission to speak at meetings, humiliate them,intimidate them, mistreat them, and
even make them contribute to your re-election campaign, boy! It’s a perfect set up—they work for you, they
owe you, so come election time they are on team Boss Hogg, boy!” He continued: "Best of all--when you are elected you can hire a stooge that kisses your ring to be your 'investigator' to trump up charges and make stuff up to get rid of those pesky employees that you don't like! and the stinkin' school board can't do nothing to stop you, boy, cause they don't even know what your're doing!" He concluded as he chuckled loudly and then belched...
2.
“NUMBER 2---I know, I know—being a fancy-schmancy school
superintendent---it’s different than being a sole commissioner in Hazzard
County Georgia—because when you are the superintendent in Escambia County--you
have that elected school board thing that kind of takes away your power and
gets in your way---especially if you’re not “elected.” “But
look a here: If you are elected it is
better, because you can listen to that pesky school board and what they say,
act like you care, tell them you will do something--- then do the exact opposite anyway!!—and that stinkin’ school
board can’t touch you for it—cause you’re elected! If you’re appointed, you have to be nice and
polite and actually work or else they can FIRE YOU! BORING!!
3.
“NUMBER 3---Boy, let me tell you something. If you ain’t strong and elected as a
superintendent—the school board can actually add things to the agenda that you
don’t agree with! No, no, no—being elected
is better because then you can tell the school board to talk to the hand and block
their items from the agenda and say something like ‘I ain’t adding your stinkin’
item to my agenda because to do that would lead people to think I support what
you are bringing—and I DON’T’!! now run along, shoo..” The other neat trick you can use is NEVER
telling them stinkin' school board members about serious issues like with charter schools stealing and not following their contracts and
violating student safety and such, and discipline policy not being followed, or
misconduct. No, no, no. That bad press could hurt the next election,
so when you are elected you guard that information and shape the message, boy—and
NEVER tell the stinkin’ school board nothin'--- or else they might start askin too many darn questions and cause a ruckus in the press, boy!!
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| Boss Hogg liked having ALL the power and all the donuts, too.... |
4. “NUMBER 4---Now look a here, when you are elected you can raise
a lot of money—trust me” he chuckled as he pointed to his rings and his all-white
custom suit. “This stuff is expensive boy, you know what I’m saying, here?” He continued. "When you have an elected superintendent—his buddies the roofers and
floor coverers and plumbers and the framers and the air-conditioner men, and
the painters can get a lot of work— and they will!!! Then they can fund his campaign account every
4 years—and they will, boy, trust me on that—because that’s how that works--they scratch my back, I scratch theirs!" He said through a sip of his sweet tea, as he demolished donuts one after the other and took another long puff of his fat cigar. “Look here now, when you are boring-old appointed superintendent—you don’t
care about elections, and purchasing services and contracts boy, you only care about the work and staff and the school board makes those other decisions—and let me just tell
you right now—that is boring!! Ya see cause when you’re
elected you get to control people in the system, the money,
